maybe, i have not been looking. or i just plainly forgot all about it. but there was this one movie that i was meaning to see eversince i was in highschool. i first heard about it when i came across simon and garfunkel's sound of silence. it (s.o.s) was one of the songs that we studied in highschool literature (or was it?) after getting over cat stevens' father and son. i now can't remember who was my teacher back then. it could either be ms. hubalde-something or mr. 'marlboroman' villabrosa (i still don't know why he taught literature when all i knew about him was that he was the guy who composed the hope cigarette jingle that was to become hope's signature jingle for eternity. maybe it's because you can't entirely separate music from literature.)
somehow the feeling of the need to see this movie overwhelmed me. it stuck and from time to time it tugs on my highschool uniform.
after some visits to the local record shop, and not finding a single trace of that movie, i gave up looking for it. the ever-elusive movie. all those times, i was thinking that it could have been easier if i was in manila. but i was stuck in naga and the only decent record bar there was the one sandwiched in between the levi's shop and the then new mcdonalds at the bichara theater building (don't get me wrong though, getting "stuck" in naga is never a bad thing. i am always looking forward of going back there.) from time to time, i come across secondhand cd/vcd sales, but the thought of looking for this movie somehow always eluded me. maybe because it already occurred to me that the chance of finding it during that time was as slim as getting exempted from rotc in college.
shortly after graduating from highschool, dead poets society, 12 angry men, my fair lady, and mr. lotino (my physics teacher), i totally forgot all about it. simon and garfunkel just became a part of my cd and cassette tape collection; weezer, stp, radiohead, rivermaya and eraserheads lorded my playlist and fight club climbed to the top of my movies-that-i-need-to-watch list. my first shortlist included gone with the wind, phantom of the opera, the godfather, the grapes of wrath, the shawshank redemption, it's a wonderful life, casa blanca, the maltese falcon and oddly enough, re-runs of schindler's list and full metal jacket. and of course, that one ever-elusive movie.
as of yesterday, 9 years later, i realized that i only got to see the first six on my list and the two re-runs. it was never a feat. but suddenly just this morning, while the sun outside rared every soul to go out, i came across a streaming link of my ever-elusive movie. i was so elated with this development that i forego the whole sunny sunday afternoon to watch the film. thanks to piracy and the internet, my ever-elusive movie was no more.
the graduate. it started with a voiceover of the captain of the plane and the camera panned on a very young dustin hoffman. then the strumming of paul simon filled my ears.
hello darkness, my old friend...
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