decisions.and.indecisions.

picture this: you are sitting at the window of your serviced apartment, smoking your last stick of marlboro, scratching your invisible sideburns vigorously and hating your colleague for being a damn lucky guy. and the least that you would like to be is to sit at the window of your serviced apartment, smoking your last stick of marlboro, scratching your invisible sideburns vigorously and hating your colleague for being a damn lucky guy.

if there was any other choice, you would rather be either the damn lucky colleague or at least the one sitting at the window of a serviced apartment, scratching his invisible sideburns vigorously, hating his damn lucky colleague, but with a pack of marlboro stashed somewhere inside his closet, smiling.

what gives?

nothing much, actually. it was just one of those moments when you realized that in one way or another, your damn lucky colleague was not that lucky after all. he just made the right decisions for himself that you thought you should have also made for yourself. and not be the guy sitting at the window of your serviced apartment hating your damn decisive colleague, hoping for a pack of marlboro to drop at the sill.

for some reason, we oftentimes blame other people, and even circumtances, for our miseries which resulted from our decisions and indecisions. what's more disturbing is that, we compare our self-induced deplorable situation to that of someone who was in an almost the same circumstance as we were into, wallow in unending nights of envy and eventually hating him for getting what he wanted, because of how right his decision (or indecision) was. for himself.

now, that's a deplorable situation indeed.

so, why can't we just shut the f*&$% up and just think of how we can get a stick of cigarette? or maybe... just stop hating and drop dead just before the ghostly apparition of the pack of cigarette from the heavens at the sill happens. or better yet, try to grow a sideburn that we can scratch.